Wife Proposes Open Marriage, Furious That Husband Gets Date First

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Eric Lund
Jul 24, 2021 4:00 PM EDT

It goes to show that open relationships are best reserved for people who are actually capable of maturely dealing with all the possible outcomes of such an arrangement. Honestly, that probably rules out a lot of us. We're still out here trying to not have dates so bad we go "screw this I'm out." For some more drama, here's the woman who stole a pregnancy test, announced her pregnancy, and was wrong. For marks of healthier relationships, here are people's favorite bits to annoy their spouses.

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheAsshole · Posted by u/MindlessNote3735 16 hours ago A O 15 e9 3 17 E 18 AITA for telling my friend she is reaping what she sowed? At the beginning of quarantine my friend Bella (f/30) proposed open marriage to her husband Mike (m/28). The timing was off, obviously, but she had thought about it a lot and she said it was the only way for her relationship with Mike to survive because she loved him dearly but felt unfulfilled. Mike hesistantly agreed because he didn't want to lose her
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  • 02
    Font - Backstory here is that Bella and Mike have known each other since middle school but only started dating in college at which point Bella had a lot more experience in relationships. Mike has told me he's always felt like he was one step behind her in most things but that their marriage really worked and he was very happy with her. Well during quarantine, the two of them became even close than they had ever been before and I think Mike didn't expect Bella to actually go through with the open
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  • 03
    Font - Cut forward to an hour ago (it's way past midnight| here) when Bella calls me crying saying Mike cheated on her. I'm all question marks at that point because Mike would never. She tells me she tried calling Mike all day but he said he had a "date" and hasn't come home yet. I asked her "but wasn't that sort of okay between you two?". She sobbingly tells me that yes, that was sort of the deal but that she hadn't been able to go on a single date with a guy yet because she was so busy with wo
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  • 04
    Font - I didn't really know what to say and just told her "well, honey, I think you just reaped what you sowed, honestly." She's furious with me and screamed at me for being an awful friend to her, that I should understand how she feels. I kept quiet but honestly, I think she's just upset that her husband is doing what she proposed in the first place? I haven't talked to Mike yet but ??? ΑΙΤΑ? EDIT: Spoke with Mike just now. He said he had an awesome night but came home to Bella screaming at him
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  • 05
    Smile - windyafternoon - 16h 2 e2 3 E |Certified Proctologist [23] yeah NTA. people always seem to be down for open relationships until they remember their partner can have an open relationship too.
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  • 06
    Font - nathashanails · 15h Partassipant [2] NTA. She didn't expect him to actually sleep with other people. She just wanted to sleep with others without it being considered cheating. She's really ridiculous and I'm on Mike's side for this one. She wanted an open relationship, so that's what she got lol
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  • 07
    Font - Infamous-Wasabi-9007 · 15h 2 Asshole Enthusiast [8] Be careful what you ask for. You might well get it. Your friend felt unfulfilled and wanted someone to meet her needs. She never considered that in an open marriage, both spouses are free to go elsewhere. She said "he cheated" but he did no such thing. It isn't cheating in an open marriage. Your friend's reality check just bounced. NTA
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  • 08
    Rectangle - ToxicoFoxo · 16h Partassipant [3] NTA - Looool, far from it! Tell that girl she shouldn't have proposed it in the first place if she wasn't ready for him to do the same thing OP!
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  • 09
    Font - Amyarchy · 15h NTA. He didn't cheat on her; they have an agreement. She did indeed reap what she sowed and doesn't like it because it didn't go her way. She didn't want to hear it from you, but unless you have some sort of agreement where you tell her only what she wants to hear and are blindly on her side all the time, no matter how little sense it makes, she's gonna have to take the L here.
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  • 10
    Font - Responsible_Parking1 · 15h i tried, i REALLY tried to find a way to say you were an AH for being insensitive in her time of need, but i cant. NTA because jeez, shes not just reaping what she sowed, she wants to have her cake, eat it, and then get another cake. i hear way to many stories about men who agreed to an open marriage for the sake of their partner, then got yelled at for.. being in an open relationship. wild stuff.
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  • 11
    Rectangle - TheQuirkyReader · 16h NTA. Bit of a double standard. Sounds like Bella wanted only the benefits of the arrangement for herself but wasn't okay with Mike having those same benefits.
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  • 12
    Font - Massive-Emergency-42 · 16h Asshole Enthusiast [8] NTA. Sounds like she wanted an open marriage for herself and didn't expect her partner to do so well on the dating market - a situation that seems to happen more often than not... if you're not prepared for your partner to date, don't propose an open marriage. You could have been nicer I guess, but it's hard to sympathize when her husband did nothing wrong and she's suddenly referring to a consensual thing as cheating.
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